It’s that time of the year again; filled with crowded shopping sprees, annoying relatives and of course family dinners. I want to take this time to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year. But, all of this Holiday cheer comes with a slight warning – if you find yourself and our loved one in the city on the corner of Horatio and Greenwich Street and you are in the mood for something delicious by all means stay away from El Faro. But then again, if delicious food is not your thing then this Spanish juggernaut is all yours.

How far can El Faro go? Well, the simple answer is not very far. But, for those of you that need to know the juicy details, the following statements are facts and as always the final judgment is left up to you:

1. Paella is delicious.

2. As long as the food is great; the atmosphere, the service and the appearance of your date for the most part can be dismissed as mere accessories.

3. Just because the owner of a Spanish restaurant might speak Spanish does not necessarily mean that the food is going to be amazing.

4. The editor in chief of Kitten Lounge was the only delicious item in El Faro.

5. Never believe online restaurant reviews, unless they are written by yours truly or if they happen to be a positive review of El Faro.

6. El Faro is “known” for its paella and it’s the absolute worst thing that I have ever tasted in any Manhattan restaurant.

7. A fraternity brother’s room is cleaner and more inviting than El Faro’s dining room.

8. Saffron should be used in any variation of authentic paella; however El Faro seems to disagree and chooses to roll with the grey variety.

9. Fresh seafood is the key to any successful paella and once again El Faro is not on the same page.

10. El faro has by far the worst paella and I would rather dine on a frozen fish stick then to insult my palate with their creations.

Once again, Happy Holidays and my present to all my readers is the knowledge that El Faro and “delicious” have long been separated and that their difference are irreconcilable.